


I'm Outta Time

by katy15307



Series: Born on a Different Cloud [8]
Category: John Lennon - Fandom, Oasis (Band), The Beatles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 16:44:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11017419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katy15307/pseuds/katy15307
Summary: Noel tries to be there for his brother when news hits of his husband John's death.





	I'm Outta Time

**Author's Note:**

> Dec 2008 Liam / Dec 1980 John

The police dropped me off outside Our Kid’s house. I thanked them for the lift to stall a little longer, they offered to come with me but I insisted once again, it had to come from me. It took ages just to cross the street, to reach his door. I didn't want to. He wasn't gonna hear it.  
I knocked, I never knock but it was early in the morning, I couldn't just go barging into his house. I waited with my arms folded to my body being it was a cold and frosty morning.  
He answered the door minutes later wearily. “What's that police car doing there? What have you done?” he accused, he meant to sound jokily but the suspicion was there.  
“Just let me in, will ya?” I was too tired and too cold to talk out there. “It's freezing out here.”  
“No! If I let you in they'll come and raid the place.”  
I had to stop myself from calling him an idiot and questioning what he had to hide these days, it wasn't the time for that. “If they were here for a raid they'd do it no matter what.” I pointed out. “Please, let me in. This is important and I'm not telling ya out on the street.”  
He reluctantly let me passed him. “What? What could you possibly have to fucking tell me so urgently at this hour? What's it got to do with the police?”  
“They had to deliver the news, they had you down as living at mine.”  
“Why? I've never lived at yours.”  
I had no idea, I hadn't thought to question it, bureaucracy, who cares? “Forget the police. Just listen to me, yeah?”  
“What is it?”  
Here it goes. “Look, you're gonna hate me and you can be pissed and scream and shout at me all you want…”  
“Tell me, Noel.” he demanded impatiently.  
“Maybe you should sit down or summat first.”  
Yeah, I was still stalling but I didn't fucking want to bring Our Kid’s world crashing down, did I? I didn't know what I was supposed to say or how to say it? Was there a way that caused least damage?  
“No. Who do ya think you are coming round my house, telling me what to do?” He scowled at me. “Spit it out for fucks sake.”  
“John…”  
“What? What could you know about my husband when he's in New York?” Says spit it out, then I can’t get a word in edgeways. He was blowing his fuse already, for fuck’s sake, why did I chose to do this?  
“Someone shot him, Liam.” I just said it, no more stalling, no more trying to protect him.  
“That's sick, even for you.”  
“No, just listen. He’s dead. They got him straight to hospital but they couldn't do anything for him.” I blurted it out as quick as I could, stating the facts the police had told me. “I'm so sorry Liam.”  
“Where d’you get off coming over here saying shit like that? What if Grace or Dylan woke up and heard this crap?!” He’d be shouting the place down by now if it wasn’t for them.  
“I know it's hard to take but I'm here for ya.” I hadn't exactly accepted it yet never mind him, he never listened but he had to this time. “I'll help you tell them in the morning. If you want.”  
“You think this is so funny don't ya? Just because we're apart don't mean you can make up a pack of lies about him. Oh, wait, I've just heard, Sara’s been stabbed. Sorry mate, she's dead.”  
“Liam, I wouldn't joke about this. John’s dead, some lunatic fan shot him.”  
“Fuck off!” He walked away, back to bed.  
I couldn't argue him into accepting his husband was dead so I locked up for him and slept in his guest bedroom. I didn't fall asleep easily knowing the news would hit Liam in the morning and then we'd have to break it to their kids, I hadn't even begun to process it myself.  
I woke up just a few hours later, hearing Liam attempting to get Grace up for school.  
“School's not on today, it's a teacher training day, remember?” I tried to tell him.  
He frowned at me. “No, it's not and why would I tell you about her school?”  
“Anaïs goes to that school too, the school told us.” I told him in a forced tone, hoping he'd accept it.  
“Oh, I forgot, you go back to sleep darling.” he said sweetly, quickly tucking her back in bed.  
She didn't take much persuasion, accepting her dad's truth as children do. We left her to sleep.  
“What're you doing here?” he asked once we were downstairs. “What was all that bullshit?”  
“I know you can't accept it but you do need to understand what happened last night.”  
“You came barging in with your lies, that's what.”  
“Do you want a cuppa and some breakfast?” I offered, trying to do what was best for him.  
“Yeah, alright.”  
I went off to the kitchen, while performing the mindless tasks I wondered how the hell I was going to get through to him. Maybe I should've just let the police do their jobs, he'd have trusted their word. I couldn't believe it and I couldn't believe I was holding myself together knowing what happened.  
“Here y’are.” I walked through with our teas and his weetabix, hopefully I'd done them just right since he really needed the comfort now.  
He was staring intensely at the telly. He had the volume on low so I hadn't realised it was on.  
“It's true, isn't it?”  
I put his stuff on his coffee table and sat down. “Yeah.”  
The presenter had only just announced the headlines but they were about to go into John’s piece.  
“You don't have to watch, just turn it off.”  
“I told him not to fucking go with her!” He pointed angrily at the screen as they put up a photo of John and Yoko.  
“It's not Yoko’s fault.”  
“She took him over there, made him go for her stupid art crap. He don't even like that fucking flat.”  
“Don't do that.”  
“It was alright when it was you last night. You're so fucking selfish!” He snapped.  
He jumped to his feet and grabbed his phone, dialing numbers. “I've got to go to him.”  
I snatched the phone off him. “You can't just go half way across the world like this.”  
“He's me husband! My husband’s dead and it's up to the BB fucking C to tell me. I've got to…”  
“I told you!” I didn't mean to snap back at him but I had to get through. “You have to stay here and be strong for your kids.”  
“I am so fucking sick of you thinking you can tell me what to do. What the fuck would you know about what I've got to do?!”  
“I'm not...”  
“You're an interfering little shit! Leave me the fuck alone.”  
“Fine, you get on the next plane and I'll take care of the kids, run out on them.” I passed him back the phone. “D’you want me to tell them or not?”  
“No! Ya don't fucking tell them nothing!”  
“They'll find out. Ya can't keep them in the dark.”  
“I've got to go.”  
“You've got to hold it together! They need you here, they've just lost their dad. There's nothing you can do over there.”  
“I need John.”  
“I know but he's gone.”  
Dylan shouted “Daddy, Daddy!”  
“Eat your breakfast.”  
“Not hungry.”  
There was a surprise, I wasn't going to argue that. I went to get Dylan.  
Liam did eat his breakfast and drink his tea just to appear normal for the kids. Once they'd had breakfast and were dressed he sat them down.  
He explained that their daddy had been taken to heaven last night so he wasn't coming home. They both cried as they tried to understand why their daddy was gone. Liam relied heavily on a religion he didn't much believe in, it was the only way to explain without giving them the cold, hard facts as I had done.  
They were too young for this.  
…  
We sat around not really doing anything. The kids were upstairs playing. Liam wasn’t talking. None of us got it.  
I saw the guitar he had on display in the corner of the room. Before I knew it I was sat with it on my lap, playing it, singing too. It was just what I did for as long as I could remember.  
“If you need it. Something I can give. I know I'd help you if I can…”  
“The fuck you doing?” Liam glared at me. “Shut the fuck up!”  
I ignored him, it was inconsiderate but it might help if he’d just listen. I needed to do something and this was it for me. “If you’re honest and you say that you did. You know that I would give you my hand. Or a sad song…”  
He forced the guitar out my grip and smashed it against his coffee table. I watched the splinters fly, shocked. “Told you to stop.”  
“You’re fucking lucky that’s not my guitar.” I had a go at him, I didn’t care if he was grieving, that was uncalled for.  
“What you gonna do?”  
“Do it to one of mine and you’ll see.” I warned. “You just fucked up your own property for no reason.”  
“Cos I don’t wanna listen to your crap singing. No one likes that acoustic shite.”  
“I know what you’re doing.” I went to check on his kids.  
He wanted to push me away so it wouldn’t be real. I wanted to go, the last Sara knew was the police taking me away in the early hours. She’s gonna kill me going off and not told her what’s going on, leaving her with Donovan.  
I couldn’t leave leave him though, could I? There was a sensitive lad somewhere deep down underneath the tough act that pisses us all off. It was the Liam John knew.  
…  
Liam arranged the funeral, insisting he did it all insisting Yoko wasn't invited. He said he didn't blame her but it was her, himself or the mentally ill gunman and nothing’s ever Liam’s fault. He kept it as private as he could, family and friends only.  
Despite Liam’s very clear ban Yoko was there attending the church service, it wasn’t like he’d actually told her she couldn’t come, he wouldn’t speak to her. She was sat alone looking like the black sheep so I sat with her since I was on my own too.  
Sara was at home with our Donovan, claiming she couldn’t bring a baby to a funeral. While Mum was looking after Liam and his kids.  
“I'm sorry… I'll go… I don't want to cause any trouble.” she told me through her tears, thinking I'd been asked to kick her out or summat.  
“No, no, you've got every right to be here, Liam’s just… he's not coping.”  
He didn't look like he wasn't coping. He was talking to all the guests with a brave face like he did with everything.  
“It's all my fault, I took him from his husband and his kids.”  
“No, that man could've been anyone, anywhere.”  
It was hard enough comforting Liam, I didn't even know or like her but we talked.  
…  
I noticed his friend Nicole take him over to one side as soon as the cremation was over. I watched as he waved her away like he couldn't hear what she had to say and then he hurried away from her, out the building.  
She just stood there frozen to the spot, watching him go.  
“Nicole.” I touched her arm to get her attention.  
She jumped. “Oh my God, Noel! You scared me.”  
“What did you just say to Our Kid?  
“It's not really your business.”  
“Please, I'm worried about him getting through today and everything.”  
She sighed, giving me a look of reluctance before whispering. “They were trying for another baby.”  
“Why the fuck would he tell you that?”  
“They asked if I'd carry the baby, it was weeks back and I put it to the back of my mind and then this happened and… I didn't know how to tell him.”  
For fuck’s sake, was there anyone who wasn’t willing to add to the Lennon-Gallagher family? “No, no, you can't be serious. Now? When he's just cremated his husband?”  
“He needed to know so he can make a decision. How long was I supposed to wait in your high and mighty opinion?”  
“I can't believe you.” I shook my head and walked away from her annoyed too but I didn't know where to go.  
We held a wake back at their house for the close family and friends, eventually everyone left having paid their respects, Mam had taken the kids to give Liam some time, we were alone again.  
I found him sat by his answer phone playing an old message over and over and not for the first time since it happened.  
Beep. “Liam, I know it's late so I'll just say I love you to you and the kids and I'll be in New York just another week. Will you be there for me when I get back?”  
“We're gonna be daddies again.” Liam spoke with a proud smile as John mentioned the kids again, I was certain he wasn't talking to me. “How lucky are we?”  
I didn't know what to do with him. I thought he had been grieving but it looked like he'd keep playing that message until John came home.

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this written forever but I wanted to at least post their wedding first but that's still only nearly done, might get there eventually. Yeah this isn't the last of this story by any means but holding your breath ain't advisable.


End file.
